“So…do you know what you’re having?”


INTELLIGENT LIFE MAGAZINE MAY / JUNE 2012 Intelligence Portrait of Expressive Baby rvw196741                                                           (       #           -       (           8       3           C       >           N       I           ^       Y           k       f           u       p

With the soon arrival of my first child, comes the realization that (in the PG sense), opinions truly are like noses, everybody’s got one. However, when the topic of child rearing, pregnancy, diets, education, discipline, and a multitude of other parenting aspects arises, opinions are more like blood cells, everyone has trillions.

The first of many conversations happened when we found out we were pregnant, and the question  “so…are you going to find out what you’re having?” was posed, to which we definitively replied “yes!”

I’ve come to learn that regardless of what you answer with, the retort will either be “Really? we didn’t find out with ours. There are so few surprises still left in this world, and this is the biggest!” or of course, there is the “All I would care about is that the baby is happy and healthy; ten fingers, ten toes.” Or my favourite, “Yeah, a lot of people are totally finding out these days, I guess it’s kind of a thing now.”

Personally, our choice to find out is mostly due to the fact that we are very organized people (though that could be contested from time to time) and we want to be prepared. In my career, I oversee a project management team – the essence of which is time management and determining the critical path to completing a task. Becca manages a retail shop where she needs to be on top of product and sourcing, staffing and time, or dollars aren’t made and business falters. Suffice it to say, we both try as best as possible to not leave things up to chance or have to be too reactive.

So we waited until the week 18 ultrasound and decided that as a compromise for the folks who were convinced that we should wait, we opted to host a ‘reveal party’ so technically we would still get our surprise, but it would be a few weeks before baby arrives.

On an aside, Pinteresting for a gender reveal party can be a full time job!

Finally the day came, and Becca headed into the ultrasound room with the technician while I sat back and waited. This particular ultrasound is 45 minutes long, so they would rather I wasn’t in the room there with her as Dads usually ask a lot of questions and the technician needs to focus.

Finally, I got the okay to come in, and the technician showed us very quickly, just a few choice shots but couldn’t answer a single question. We would have to wait on the midwife for confirmation.

We asked that the results be kept secret from us, but we provided Becca’s sister’s contact info as the recipient to keep the secret until the reveal party.

3 days later, Becca got a call from the midwives.

Baby was too active, and they aren’t definitive that they know the gender.

You’ve gotta be shitting me.

The pros:

When people ask, we have an easy out; “Baby was just too active, so they weren’t sure – looks like we’re waiting till he or she arrives!” – this satisfies both parties; those who wait, and those who find out early.

The cons:

Our newborn wardrobe is full of yellows, greens and whites – no real defined theme. Becca has made the best of it, and done a great job with teals and oranges. It works really well actually, so regardless of gender, this is going to be a very stylish baby.

And of course, the other con, and probably the most entertaining yet borderline annoying; not knowing the gender, brings out everyone’s psychic abilities.

People have dreamt of our baby.

Everyone knows every old wives tale out there and can advise by how Becca’s belly looks, what her diet is, how the bridge of her nose looks, or how frequently baby kicks.

My favourite so far is that apparently the frequency of your “baby making attempts” at the time of conception, dictates what the gender will be. If you humped like bunnies, it means you’re having a girl. Every now and then means you’ll be a having a boy.

So yeah, I guess we know what we’re having. So when my daughter arrives, please make sure to act surprised 😉

What are your thoughts?

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